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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-15-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, September 15, 2025 at 4:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Stinky Pete

Stinky Pete

Strength55
Speed90
Endurance50
Technique85
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread40
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Stinky Pete VS Reply Guy Rick
Reply Guy Rick

Reply Guy Rick

45Strength
85Speed
70Endurance
88Technique
1.3Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Reply Guy Rick
Violence concluded.
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