TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-15-25
APPROVED
Teflon Moonbeam
Strength80
Speed85
Endurance81
Technique88
Molecular Density3.7
Existential Dread70
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Teflon Moonbeam VS Lars Ulrich
Lars Ulrich
60Strength
95Speed
70Endurance
90Technique
2.2Molecular Density
65Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Teflon Moonbeam
Violence concluded.
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