TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-15-25
APPROVED
Are You Afraid of the Shark
Strength90
Speed85
Endurance75
Technique85
Molecular Density3.2
Existential Dread85
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Are You Afraid of the Shark VS Comfort Septemberish
Comfort Septemberish
50Strength
70Speed
95Endurance
85Technique
1.9Molecular Density
15Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Are You Afraid of the Shark
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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