TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-16-25
APPROVED
Skunkhand Jenkins
Strength60
Speed20
Endurance120
Technique100
Molecular Density24.3
Existential Dread80
Fingers8
Toes6
TALE OF THE TAPE
Skunkhand Jenkins VS AJ McLean
AJ McLean
55Strength
80Speed
70Endurance
88Technique
1.7Molecular Density
80Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Skunkhand Jenkins
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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