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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-16-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, September 16, 2025 at 7:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Baby Triumphant

Baby Triumphant

Strength35
Speed60
Endurance30
Technique98
Molecular Density0.8
Existential Dread5
Fingers5
Toes5
TALE OF THE TAPE
Baby Triumphant VS Social Anxiety Sam
Social Anxiety Sam

Social Anxiety Sam

38Strength
45Speed
52Endurance
72Technique
1.3Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
6Fingers
14Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Baby Triumphant
Violence concluded.
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