TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-17-25
APPROVED
The Efficiency Expert
Strength85
Speed85
Endurance70
Technique98
Molecular Density3.4
Existential Dread92
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Efficiency Expert VS HOA President Peterson
HOA President Peterson
80Strength
60Speed
95Endurance
85Technique
3.1Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Efficiency Expert
Violence concluded.
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