TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-17-25
APPROVED
Gordon Ramsay
Strength85
Speed90
Endurance80
Technique95
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread60
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Gordon Ramsay VS Wedgie Magnet
Wedgie Magnet
35Strength
60Speed
55Endurance
55Technique
1.1Molecular Density
88Existential Dread
8Fingers
12Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Gordon Ramsay
Violence concluded.
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