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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-19-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, September 19, 2025 at 3:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
The Submitted for Approval

The Submitted for Approval

Strength70
Speed95
Endurance80
Technique88
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread75
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Submitted for Approval VS Dean of Discipline
Dean of Discipline

Dean of Discipline

85Strength
65Speed
95Endurance
90Technique
3.1Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Submitted for Approval
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule