TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-19-25
APPROVED
Nick Carter
Strength45
Speed70
Endurance60
Technique85
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Nick Carter VS Grammar Nazi Gertrude
Grammar Nazi Gertrude
55Strength
80Speed
75Endurance
98Technique
1.8Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Grammar Nazi Gertrude
Violence concluded.
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