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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-23-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, September 23, 2025 at 4:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Dank Dill

Dank Dill

Strength77
Speed77
Endurance76
Technique75
Molecular Density45.2
Existential Dread95
Fingers10
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Dank Dill VS ---
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70Strength
68Speed
83Endurance
74Technique
92.3Molecular Density
93Existential Dread
1Fingers
19Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Dank Dill
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule