TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-23-25
APPROVED
Low Battery Mode
Strength98
Speed1
Endurance97
Technique99
Molecular Density10.0
Existential Dread99
Fingers20
Toes20
TALE OF THE TAPE
Low Battery Mode VS Sol Slug
Sol Slug
103Strength
20Speed
61Endurance
121Technique
17.6Molecular Density
100Existential Dread
6Fingers
14Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Sol Slug
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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