TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-23-25
APPROVED
Kevlar Breakfast
Strength101
Speed76
Endurance103
Technique75
Molecular Density5.1
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Kevlar Breakfast VS Déjà Vu Again
Déjà Vu Again
70Strength
85Speed
80Endurance
95Technique
1.4Molecular Density
88Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Kevlar Breakfast
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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