TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-23-25
APPROVED
Moon Landing Mike
Strength75
Speed90
Endurance70
Technique88
Molecular Density0.7
Existential Dread85
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Moon Landing Mike VS Mayhem Breakfast
Mayhem Breakfast
75Strength
88Speed
72Endurance
91Technique
1.9Molecular Density
87Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Mayhem Breakfast
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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