TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-24-25
APPROVED
Fart Sniffer Supreme
Strength42
Speed51
Endurance49
Technique68
Molecular Density0.8
Existential Dread90
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Fart Sniffer Supreme VS Social Anxiety Sam
Social Anxiety Sam
38Strength
45Speed
52Endurance
72Technique
1.3Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
6Fingers
14Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Fart Sniffer Supreme
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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