TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-24-25
APPROVED
Lance Bass
Strength45
Speed70
Endurance60
Technique80
Molecular Density1.3
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Lance Bass VS Nasty Nick
Nasty Nick
70Strength
75Speed
65Endurance
80Technique
1.9Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Nasty Nick
Violence concluded.
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