TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-26-25
APPROVED
Anxiety Duck
Strength36
Speed96
Endurance57
Technique84
Molecular Density0.8
Existential Dread95
Fingers2
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Anxiety Duck VS Kevin Richardson
Kevin Richardson
60Strength
70Speed
75Endurance
85Technique
1.8Molecular Density
65Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Kevin Richardson
Violence concluded.
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