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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-27-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, September 27, 2025 at 8:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Pocket Protector Pete

Pocket Protector Pete

Strength50
Speed40
Endurance60
Technique70
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread75
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Pocket Protector Pete VS Mookie Sanders
Mookie Sanders

Mookie Sanders

122Strength
103Speed
22Endurance
63Technique
84.6Molecular Density
92Existential Dread
9Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Pocket Protector Pete
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule