TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-27-25
APPROVED
Mayhem Breakfast
Strength77
Speed90
Endurance76
Technique93
Molecular Density1.9
Existential Dread87
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Mayhem Breakfast VS Flat Earth Fred
Flat Earth Fred
70Strength
80Speed
75Endurance
85Technique
1.1Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Mayhem Breakfast
Violence concluded.
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