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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-27-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, September 27, 2025 at 9:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Mayhem Breakfast

Mayhem Breakfast

Strength77
Speed90
Endurance76
Technique93
Molecular Density1.9
Existential Dread87
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Mayhem Breakfast VS Pocket Protector Pete
Pocket Protector Pete

Pocket Protector Pete

50Strength
40Speed
60Endurance
70Technique
1.5Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Mayhem Breakfast
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule