TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-29-25
APPROVED
Grammar Nazi Gertrude
Strength55
Speed80
Endurance75
Technique98
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread85
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Grammar Nazi Gertrude VS The Finger Counter
The Finger Counter
65Strength
85Speed
70Endurance
90Technique
2.7Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
23Fingers
7Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Finger Counter
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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