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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-29-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, September 29, 2025 at 8:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Bot Account Barbara

Bot Account Barbara

Strength85
Speed98
Endurance55
Technique75
Molecular Density0.5
Existential Dread70
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Bot Account Barbara VS YouTube Yolanda "Subscribe or Die"
YouTube Yolanda "Subscribe or Die"

YouTube Yolanda "Subscribe or Die"

65Strength
85Speed
70Endurance
90Technique
1.5Molecular Density
82Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Bot Account Barbara
Violence concluded.
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