TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-30-25
APPROVED
Muted Mike "Can You Hear Me Now"
Strength45
Speed75
Endurance95
Technique88
Molecular Density1.4
Existential Dread92
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Muted Mike "Can You Hear Me Now" VS Grill Master Gary
Grill Master Gary
90Strength
55Speed
85Endurance
75Technique
2.9Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Grill Master Gary
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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