TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-01-25
APPROVED
Moldy Shower Curtain Mike
Strength77
Speed74
Endurance76
Technique73
Molecular Density3.8
Existential Dread52
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Moldy Shower Curtain Mike VS Derek Moneyberg
Derek Moneyberg
71Strength
71Speed
86Endurance
72Technique
57.2Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
13Fingers
12Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Moldy Shower Curtain Mike
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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