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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-01-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, October 1, 2025 at 5:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Double Cup Dwayne

Double Cup Dwayne

Strength68
Speed72
Endurance81
Technique79
Molecular Density82.7
Existential Dread43
Fingers8
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Double Cup Dwayne VS Just Greg
Just Greg

Just Greg

75Strength
68Speed
55Endurance
102Technique
40.1Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
12Fingers
6Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Double Cup Dwayne
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule