TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-02-25
APPROVED
Too Many Tabs Open
Strength70
Speed80
Endurance60
Technique90
Molecular Density1.2
Existential Dread85
Fingers20
Toes0
TALE OF THE TAPE
Too Many Tabs Open VS Dust Bunny Dominator
Dust Bunny Dominator
90Strength
60Speed
80Endurance
70Technique
1.7Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
8Fingers
12Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Too Many Tabs Open
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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