TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-08-25
APPROVED
Bathtub Ring Bobby
Strength69
Speed80
Endurance75
Technique76
Molecular Density3.3
Existential Dread34
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Bathtub Ring Bobby VS Wet Sock Walking Willie
Wet Sock Walking Willie
66Strength
79Speed
83Endurance
72Technique
1.9Molecular Density
57Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Bathtub Ring Bobby
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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