TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-08-25
APPROVED
Home Depot Manager
Strength64
Speed78
Endurance99
Technique59
Molecular Density83.4
Existential Dread96
Fingers9
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Home Depot Manager VS Captain Hindsight
Captain Hindsight
58Strength
92Speed
71Endurance
79Technique
1.1Molecular Density
84Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Home Depot Manager
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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