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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-09-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, October 9, 2025 at 2:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
The Rubber Stamp

The Rubber Stamp

Strength60
Speed95
Endurance60
Technique85
Molecular Density41.3
Existential Dread85
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Rubber Stamp VS 404 Error Evan
404 Error Evan

404 Error Evan

80Strength
85Speed
65Endurance
70Technique
3.1Molecular Density
57Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

404 Error Evan
Violence concluded.
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