TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-09-25
APPROVED
The Thing in the Air Ducts
Strength70
Speed70
Endurance70
Technique90
Molecular Density0.7
Existential Dread98
Fingers6
Toes4
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Thing in the Air Ducts VS Unattended Swing Set
Unattended Swing Set
60Strength
80Speed
70Endurance
90Technique
1.0Molecular Density
76Existential Dread
0Fingers
0Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Thing in the Air Ducts
Violence concluded.
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