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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-09-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, October 9, 2025 at 9:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Background Blur Betty

Background Blur Betty

Strength55
Speed85
Endurance80
Technique95
Molecular Density1.2
Existential Dread85
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Background Blur Betty VS Tahini Poinsettia
Tahini Poinsettia

Tahini Poinsettia

70Strength
85Speed
75Endurance
88Technique
2.3Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Background Blur Betty
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule