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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-09-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, October 9, 2025 at 10:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Copay Carl

Copay Carl

Strength75
Speed80
Endurance75
Technique88
Molecular Density2.3
Existential Dread90
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Copay Carl VS Stretch Filigree
Stretch Filigree

Stretch Filigree

50Strength
95Speed
85Endurance
90Technique
0.7Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
20Fingers
4Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Stretch Filigree
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule