TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-09-25
APPROVED
Fresh Rodriguez
Strength80
Speed90
Endurance72
Technique98
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread35
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Fresh Rodriguez VS Meatball Massacre Mike
Meatball Massacre Mike
90Strength
70Speed
85Endurance
80Technique
3.4Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Fresh Rodriguez
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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