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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-10-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, October 10, 2025 at 12:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Steven Seagal

Steven Seagal

Strength59
Speed34
Endurance70
Technique82
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread85
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Steven Seagal VS Moth With a Knife
Moth With a Knife

Moth With a Knife

15Strength
99Speed
45Endurance
76Technique
0.0Molecular Density
103Existential Dread
0Fingers
6Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Moth With a Knife
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule