TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-10-25
APPROVED
Snack Attack Stan
Strength70
Speed75
Endurance85
Technique70
Molecular Density2.3
Existential Dread20
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Snack Attack Stan VS Bolognese Blitz
Bolognese Blitz
90Strength
70Speed
80Endurance
60Technique
3.3Molecular Density
30Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Snack Attack Stan
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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