Help
Discord YouTube

🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-15-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, October 15, 2025 at 3:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Coffee Break Carl

Coffee Break Carl

Strength70
Speed86
Endurance71
Technique83
Molecular Density2.2
Existential Dread15
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Coffee Break Carl VS Micromanage Mike
Micromanage Mike

Micromanage Mike

80Strength
60Speed
80Endurance
80Technique
3.0Molecular Density
72Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Micromanage Mike
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule