TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-15-25
APPROVED
Hot Sauce Harold “The Burninator”
Strength96
Speed75
Endurance70
Technique60
Molecular Density4.8
Existential Dread5
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Hot Sauce Harold “The Burninator” VS Crayon Scribble in Blood Red
Crayon Scribble in Blood Red
89Strength
67Speed
82Endurance
72Technique
1.6Molecular Density
71Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Hot Sauce Harold “The Burninator”
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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