TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-15-25
APPROVED
Crying in Cars Caroline
Strength70
Speed86
Endurance62
Technique83
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread92
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Crying in Cars Caroline VS Birthday Alone Barry
Birthday Alone Barry
69Strength
87Speed
82Endurance
72Technique
1.7Molecular Density
77Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Crying in Cars Caroline
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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