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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-15-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, October 15, 2025 at 5:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Bathtub Ring Bobby

Bathtub Ring Bobby

Strength69
Speed80
Endurance75
Technique76
Molecular Density3.3
Existential Dread34
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Bathtub Ring Bobby VS Grout Goblin Gary
Grout Goblin Gary

Grout Goblin Gary

77Strength
78Speed
82Endurance
73Technique
3.7Molecular Density
44Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Grout Goblin Gary
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule