TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-15-25
APPROVED
Nesticle
Strength75
Speed84
Endurance80
Technique71
Molecular Density48.5
Existential Dread91
Fingers7
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Nesticle VS Sandy Britches
Sandy Britches
70Strength
63Speed
96Endurance
71Technique
65.4Molecular Density
54Existential Dread
9Fingers
7Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Sandy Britches
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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