TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-15-25
APPROVED
Background Blur Betty
Strength55
Speed85
Endurance80
Technique95
Molecular Density1.2
Existential Dread85
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Background Blur Betty VS Student Loan Samantha
Student Loan Samantha
64Strength
93Speed
82Endurance
89Technique
2.0Molecular Density
98Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Student Loan Samantha
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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