TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-15-25
APPROVED
Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero"
Strength83
Speed61
Endurance99
Technique90
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread55
Fingers8
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero" VS Donny "Dirty Mouth" McBubble
Donny "Dirty Mouth" McBubble
85Strength
70Speed
80Endurance
88Technique
2.9Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Dishwasher Diane "The Unsung Hero"
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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