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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-16-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, October 16, 2025 at 12:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer"

Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer"

Strength45
Speed40
Endurance95
Technique98
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread25
Fingers8
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Bingo Bertha "The Destroyer" VS Warwick Davis
Warwick Davis

Warwick Davis

51Strength
75Speed
74Endurance
95Technique
1.4Molecular Density
35Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Warwick Davis
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule