TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-16-25
APPROVED
Joey Fatone
Strength70
Speed60
Endurance85
Technique75
Molecular Density2.5
Existential Dread55
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Joey Fatone VS VIOLENCE PENDING
VIOLENCE PENDING
105Strength
77Speed
73Endurance
55Technique
67.1Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
8Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
VIOLENCE PENDING
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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