TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-16-25
APPROVED
Derek Moneyberg
Strength71
Speed71
Endurance86
Technique72
Molecular Density57.2
Existential Dread45
Fingers13
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Derek Moneyberg VS Grout Goblin Gary
Grout Goblin Gary
74Strength
76Speed
80Endurance
70Technique
3.7Molecular Density
44Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Derek Moneyberg
Violence concluded.
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