TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-16-25
APPROVED
Reverb
Strength77
Speed94
Endurance53
Technique76
Molecular Density0.7
Existential Dread91
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Reverb VS Lawnmower Jesus
Lawnmower Jesus
74Strength
68Speed
52Endurance
106Technique
92.4Molecular Density
77Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Lawnmower Jesus
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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