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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
10-17-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, October 17, 2025 at 3:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
The Algorithm

The Algorithm

Strength85
Speed75
Endurance60
Technique80
Molecular Density4.2
Existential Dread66
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Algorithm VS Clippy “It Looks Like You're Dying”
Clippy “It Looks Like You're Dying”

Clippy “It Looks Like You're Dying”

65Strength
88Speed
57Endurance
80Technique
1.3Molecular Density
52Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Clippy “It Looks Like You're Dying”
Violence concluded.
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