TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-17-25
APPROVED
Scootie
Strength40
Speed120
Endurance60
Technique80
Molecular Density19.1
Existential Dread57
Fingers14
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Scootie VS Donut Desperado
Donut Desperado
82Strength
91Speed
62Endurance
75Technique
2.5Molecular Density
12Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Scootie
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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