TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-17-25
APPROVED
Grammar Nazi Gertrude
Strength55
Speed80
Endurance75
Technique98
Molecular Density1.8
Existential Dread85
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Grammar Nazi Gertrude VS Grill Master Gary
Grill Master Gary
87Strength
53Speed
84Endurance
71Technique
2.9Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Grammar Nazi Gertrude
Violence concluded.
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