TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-17-25
APPROVED
Caps Lock Carl
Strength90
Speed67
Endurance88
Technique57
Molecular Density3.2
Existential Dread99
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Caps Lock Carl VS Bot Account Barbara
Bot Account Barbara
85Strength
98Speed
55Endurance
75Technique
0.5Molecular Density
70Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Bot Account Barbara
Violence concluded.
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