TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-18-25
APPROVED
Polymer McGillicuddy
Strength86
Speed72
Endurance88
Technique78
Molecular Density4.2
Existential Dread65
Fingers13
Toes7
TALE OF THE TAPE
Polymer McGillicuddy VS Neckbeard Nathan
Neckbeard Nathan
65Strength
60Speed
85Endurance
95Technique
2.8Molecular Density
92Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Polymer McGillicuddy
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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